Our Focus May Need to Change         

“Never focus too much on the malcontents… and there are always malcontents.”          

Keith Stanford once said to me that my congregation would divide itself into three distinct groups after I had been there a while. “Ten percent will love you and think you’re the best pastor they ever had. Don’t believe them, but love them and be glad they are there!”         

“Another ten percent will think you are not very good and will say so in one way or another. Don’t believe them, either. And don’t focus your energy and time trying to get them to see the light. It’s a waste of time and energy. Over time, some of them may fall into the third group.         

“The third group?” I asked.         

“That’s the eighty percent who think that Mike isn’t all that bad and is doing alright.”         

My problem was that I was focusing on the negative ten percent and barely noticing the rest of the people. At the time there were two families who were determined to make my life miserable, or so I reasoned considering their very negative remarks about the direction the church was moving. I was getting down. Providentially, a lady in the church came to me not long after that conversation with Keith. She had apparently noticed my “blue funk” at one of the more negative meetings and took me aside and said, “Don’t you know the people love you?” she said.         

I didn’t, but that was a result of my focus on those particular pebbles in my shoe. But I began to consider her words in light of my conversation with Keith. Later that week someone was sitting next to me and just said out loud, “The people here really do love you, pastor.” I began to look around. Most of the people would smile and talk with me about the good things in the church. People were volunteering for jobs. I realized that the negative people were actually a minority. The actual count? Nine percent. Go figure!         

So, how did I learn to change my focus?I determined to respond differently, reasoning that if I continued to respond the same way, I would get the same results. I began to spend the bulk of my time and energy with those who were helping and not harping. I didn’t ignore the others, but I determined to manage them rather than use all my resources trying to get them on my side.         

When my mind drifted to the negative folks, I did two thinks. First, I considered the possibility that a kernel of truth in what they were complaining about. That was hard, because none of us like criticism. And, if there was, could I do things better without sacrificing all the good that was going on? Finally, I prayed for those who opposed my leadership and waited patiently. Eventually the opportunity to be their pastor would come. Death in the family, lost job or the birth of a grandchild. And then I would be the pastor God called me to be and sometimes, not always, but sometimes even they changed.

Reason Five (From Forty-nine Reasons to Stay in the Ministry by Dr. R. Michael Sanders)

At the end of the day, what will make you pleased with how you spent the most precious currency you have, that is, your life?           

As I was contemplating this reason, something outrageous occurred in my small community: A pastor was asked to resign.  There was no alleged immorality, no missing funds, no heretical doctrine espoused. There was only the rather awkward excuse; “There is a segment of the congregation he doesn’t relate to well.”  He had only been there a few months.         

During the first week that followed this devastating rejection by the congregation, he rode with me to a Christian bookstore some miles away.  He was discouraged and hurt. He played over and over in his head all he done in the short time he was pastor.  He was trying to discover the moment it got away from him.  I mentioned I was working on a project giving reasons to stay in the ministry.         

“Quick,” he said, “Give me one.”         

So I gave him this reason: When you come to the end of your life what most do you want to look back upon? That you were a champion insurance salesman or that you designed and built better bridges? Or that you served the Kingdom?         

He just looked at me for a moment on highway 41 north of Evansville, Indiana and then said, “Brother, you don’t know what you’ve just said, do you?  When God called me into the ministry I was in engineering school.  It seemed to me at the time that God asked that very question.  Did I want to come to the end of my life and see a successful engineering career and great financial reward or did I want to advance the Kingdom of God.  I chose the Kingdom, but these past few days I was wondering if I made the right choice.  I see I did.”         

Remember, you are in this for the long haul, not just the bad day we all have.  OK, so sometimes it seems the bad day seems to go on and on.  Yes, there are knot heads out there.  And, although they are in everyone’s line of work, they do tend to stand out in the church.         

But at the end of your day, will it be the baptisms you want to remember or that you sold more insurance and cars than anyone else did? 

Copyright 2011  R. Michael Sanders